A bad experience with a bad ISP
Valiant
valiant@halcon.com.au
Telstra, ew, bad ISP, ISP, services, crap, shit


"Hi, and welcome to Telstra, how may I help you?" 
the woman politely said. "Help?" I pondered how to 
respond. For four years I had been ringing them and 
complaining about the lines in my area, and their 
general monopoly of the Australian telecommunications 
industry. I sat dumbfounded before attempting to 
explain my problem to someone who would never have 
a clue what I had gone through with their telecommunications 
'service', let alone the nightmare of having to attempt to 
maintain my sanity after my modem drops out for the 
twentieth time that morning. 


For four years I had been complaining about the same 
problem. For two years I have been going insane over 
it. Two years ago I had a line installed specifically 
to be used for Internet access. Now, according to the 
online time given to me by my ISP, in reality, I should 
make three calls from that line per day. When I saw 
that that line's bill was higher than that of any other 
line in the house, I laughed .. then cried. 


I explained again, for the millionth time, that the 
exchange my area was running on was an obsolete 
system-12 network, which also died completely 
when-ever it rained. I continued on to explain that 
I could not connect to the Internet. I then had to 
explain what the Internet was, and what a 'modem' 
and 'computer' was. Then when I asked why my 
bandwidth on that line was dropping, and she 
questioned whether bandwidth was the physical width 
of the wire inside the line. I realised it was futile, 
told her politely that it was all going to be okay, 
and that I couldn't continue, and hung up. 


About five minutes later, I was on the phone to Telstra's 
head office in Sydney, and I was not happy at all. The woman 
who answered the phone seemed helpful enough and she told me 
whom I should hunt down. Now, I'm not one to lose my temper 
and I'd never want to go off at a poor secretary, who has 
nothing to do with it, so I played it cool. A woman's voice 
answered, she told me the man I was after was out of state for 
the week. Great I thought. So I asked what I should do. She 
told me that she would look into it and passed me on to another 
woman to take down my complaint, who promised to call me back 
that afternoon.


That afternoon came and went. I rang back the next day to 
explain that I was supposed to have been called, that I 
needed someone on this as soon as possible, as I'd been 
waiting two years. "Two years?" the woman retorted with 
confusion. So I explained .. a little. After two years 
your apathy for the situation gets quite high. 


For those of you who aren't familiar with computers or the 
back line information on ISP's, Internet access, and the 
World Wide Web in general, let me explain a little. From 
your computer at home you use a modem (modulator-demodulator) 
to establish a connection using your local carrier (ie: 
telstra) to your ISP (Internet service provider), who then 
gives you a gateway to the rest of the worlds computers who 
are doing exactly the same thing. The average speed of a 
modem in Australia is 56kbps (kilobits per second). What 
am I getting at? Read on. 


In the 1980's when Fax machines first became popular in 
Australia, the then Telecom was forced to update itself 
to allow 1200 - 2400 cps (cycles per second (note: cycles 
per second are equal to bits per second)) to carry the 
information sent by the fax's. Now, a good twenty years later, 
Telstra only support and guarantee a 2400 connection. 


Australia is one of the few countries to not support a minimum 
of 9600bps, and considering that most modern Fax machines send 
at 19,200bps, this is just a joke. In the USA an Internet 
user would be laughed at if he didn't have a 164kbps 
permanent connection to the net, which is affordable to 
them, as the availability of technology is higher because 
the American citizens wouldn't hesitate to unite and complain 
against a telecommunications service which was offering 
out-dated technology at a cost higher than normal. 


Now you will see why I'm not impressed, considering we're 
tolerating 1970's and 1980's technology, and even then 
we're putting up with a failing network, and a pathetic
telecommunications monopoly, it really is becoming one big 
joke. How on earth are we supposed to host the 2000 Olympics 
when the rest of the world is going to see how pathetic our 
technology is? Well, not just our technology, but the 
attitudes of our consumers who refuse to fight against it.
 

Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the telephone call to end all 
telephone calls. My phone rang. I jumped for it in a frenzy, 
expecting it to be the lottery agency telling me I am a 
multi-millionaire. "Good morning, this is James from Telstra 
returning your call." (note: names have been changed to protect 
the idiotic.) "Oh, Hi James. I thought you were the .. ergh .. 
nevermind.", I replied in a sleepy tone. "I'm just calling to 
get down your complaint." he said. "I thought the lady I spoke 
to the other night did that?" I replied. He didn't respond, so 
I went into my five hour and twenty-two minute speech on the 
problems of the world as a whole. I went on to explain how over 
the two years, I'd had many linesmen out to test the lines, and 
all said they were working fine, that I had been sent to the 
modem division, where a man told me to dial up a specific number 
so he could test my equipment, and how, considering I was on a 
laptop, I could drive to a friends place, five minutes from here, 
and get a perfect 56k connection. 


This is where he stopped me. Now, previously I had constantly 
been told that Telstra cables supported 56k. "We only support
2400 connection speed Sir." he said in an arrogant tone. 
"Really? Is this Telstra in Afghanistan? Are you sure 
you're calling from Australia? My toaster uses more than 
2400 to melt an ice-cube." I replied. By this stage I was 
completely sick of it. He continued on his self-righteous 
'the company is always in the right' spiel, and I explained 
that from now on, I would get a nice little notepad, log down 
all calls that got a connection, and all connections that 
lasted for more than five minutes, and would pay for them 
accordingly. As for the rest, I explained Telstra could 
feel free to sue me for it. For four years I had paid at 
least $100 per month on that telephone line, when in 
reality, at three calls per day, let's say 30 days a 
month average, I should be paying around $18 per month. 
I was really unhappy. 


So this is where I am today. I have no intention of paying 
for these 'services' they will attempt to bill me for, 
unless they provided a normal connection like any other 
country's telecommunications carrier would. Now what has 
this all got to do with you, I hear you ask? Well, you're 
allowing this same company to provide third rate service to 
our country, and in less than one year, the rest of the world 
will be seeing this, and laughing. So let's get something done.
 

I intend on calling the Telecommunication Obudsmans Office and 
lodging a complaint on Telstra's service, on them brain washing 
us through advertisements that we're actually getting a good 
service when we're not, and on the entire fiasco in general. 
I also intend on getting this article published in as many 
locations as possible, as it's gone beyond a joke. So, a toast
to modern technology, and man's ability to market it for high 
cost, while using it for low gain. Let's get our act together.
 

(Note: If you to have experience problems with Telstra's service, 
feel free to contact me via email at valiant@halcon.com.au, or if 
you wish to lodge a complaint with the Telecommunication Ombudsman 
Office, give them a call on 1800 962 058.)